When you do get hurt, it is habitual to try to cover over your open heart. You shut yourself off from feeling vulnerable in an attempt not to get hurt again.
After some time we all do heal, and more often than not, we once again strive to reopen our heart.
Which is kind of a long way of saying: Don't take it personally. I don't think I've ever been that blatantly de-valued before.
Familiar as that might sound, it was good to hear what Whitney was explaining—so good that I decided to find out if there was some Buddhism guru out there who might have some tips about how to "stay Zen" while dating. And I can't get anyone to write me back on the stupid dating sites. Any thoughts on how I can deal with something like that if it happens again? It was a typical Hollywood gathering—meaning most of the people there were looking to meet someone who would further their careers!
Wanting to be in love is natural to the human experience. It almost seems counterintuitive to try to reach contentment and equanimity in our life while also cultivating this roller coaster of emotions.One of the best ways to see compassion in action is through the example of engaging it in our romantic and sexual relationships.We can use the lessons we learn in these relationships and apply them to all of our interactions. You likely have touched your tender soft spot, what in Sanskrit is referred to as your , when you opened your heart to someone else and were ultimately disappointed.(She wrote a fantastic essay for this month's Marie Claire about how she converted after being a life-long atheist.)One of the key things Buddhists try to keep in mind: When someone does something that makes you feel bad, it's rarely the case that his goal was to hurt you. Isn't it funny, though, that people can give advice they themselves can't really put into action but which nevertheless helps those who listen to it? Anyway, I got Brad on the horn, and here's how our conversation went: HOW TO DEAL IF SOMEONE BLOWS YOU OFF AT A PARTY ...Rather, he was trying to make himself feel good, or happy--or, at least, to minimize his own pain or discomfort as much as possible. ME: I went to this dinner the other week where the host flat-out ignored me—he didn't even bother to get my name, or re-fill my drink glass—because he was so busy drooling over my admittedly gorgeous friend!The author of several books including Finding Joy, she lives in Lolo, Montana.