This document is written with over 15 years experience in running an IRC based chatroom and community.
There are IRC standards, room standards, internet standards, political standards, and room owner standards to understand and abide by.
Much of this comes from standard IRC chat rules and guidelines developed over the years by other chat operations.
The truth is that while in a chat room users are at the mercy of the chat room owner. Don't do/say anything you wouldn't at a happy hour at your local pub/bar. Generally speaking, the room needs to remain in a state ready to accept new users.
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Chatting with a minor is considered to be as bad as being a minor.
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This includes new users as well as "regulars" (returning users).